Phil: Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape! I-I will eat my-I'll eat my fucking Flex Tape. There is no fucking way that the only thing they use to put that boat back together is Tape. Does that say "12 inch wide Flex Tape used on both inside and outside of the boat"? Oh, see, you gotta make sure you use it both on the inside and the outside. Jon: And you're on the boat! He's on the fucking boat! I'm sorry.
Jon: You repaired it with ONLY Flex Tape. Phil: I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Jon: Phil what does that have to do with tape? No okay- I want to- tell me how the fuck- what does that got to do with Flex Tape? Phil: To show you the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! I've done it though, really, it's serious. Might have may or may not have Photoshopped his wiener on. May or may not have Photoshopped his undies off. Phil: And once it's on, it holds on tight! Jon: Flex Tape ain't super strong, Phil! You're super strong! Well honestly what they should do in these infomercials is just tell you what it can't do- just tell you the three or four things that Flex Tape can't fix- “a broken marriage! Even then, shown- shown to be slightly more effective than placebo!” Jon: I love on these commercials literally it's like “you could just use this on anything! Ah, open heart surgery! Guys got an artery going? Flex Tape!” Phil: Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers, and RVs.
Jon: Alright, THAT might be the toughest conditions! You scared me! That wasn't even- does this have anything to do with Flex Tape? Are you alright, Phil? That looks like you're going through a car wash. Jon: That is not the toughest conditions. Phil: Flex Tape keeps its grip even in the toughest conditions! Jon VO: You've done half a job and you got a full smile! Plus, Flex Tape's powerful adhesive is so strong. Phil: Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly. You never get another guy coming out like "It's me, Josephi Krakowski with Flex Tape"! It's always a guy like Phil Swift, Johnny Starr. Phil: That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Phil Swift: Hi, Phil Swift here for Flex Tape, the super strong waterproof tape! Jon: Alright I’m just gonna let you enjoy this for yourself. Disclaimer: I am not actually sponsored in any way by Flex Tape, although I wish I was. I had never heard of Flex Tape until I was in the pub, and out of the corner of my eye I happened to catch, uh, this infomercial about Flex Tape, so I’m gonna let Phil do the talking for you, cuz I want you to- I want you to be a sold on Flex Tape as I am. Okay you heard about this stuff? I mean this is basically have you heard of Jesus?!? Well even He couldn't do as much as Flex Tape, apparently. Jon: Of course! The solution was Flex Tape! Jon: Augh! I hate it when my computer combusts because my own blood for my blood bag is spilling on my computer! Ah! If only there was some way to fix this! Waterproofing My Life With FLEX TAPE - JonTron